Tuesday, September 6, 2011


So a few months ago my sister called me and was all excited telling me to look up Eggies online. I look it up and the infomercial is amazing. I can have hard boiled eggs and not be bothered with that pesky little shell. However as amazing as it seemed I did not rush out and buy them. A purchase as important as this required research. I Google "Eggies Reviews" and things similar to that and find nothing that should really deter me from purchasing these interesting little egg pods. No one has said anything amazing about them but no one has really said that their aren't amazing either.

I still do not rush to buy them, and this is a good thing because on a random trip to the mall and a visit to the AS SEEN ON TV store I find them on sale for $12.99!! I snatch them up because they are going to solve all of my life's little problems and I take them to the register.

At home I technically have no need to boil eggs so it takes me several days before these little beauties become necessary. But as the need arises I can no longer find the instructions. (And they aren't available online because then everyone would know their secrets.) Fuck! Well I wake up my husband who has just finished a 12 hour overnight shift and ask him in my panicky voice "Where are the instructions for the Eggies!"

So now instructions in hand and divorce pending, I get ready to make my Eggies. Each pod is four pieces so I begin dismantling them so that I can grease the inside. (Yep I just gave away a secret and there are more to come.) During this process a little rubber-band like washer piece comes loose and I spend probably 10 minutes trying to put it back on. (Yes, at this point my traditional eggs could have been boiled; but I am determined to see this magic.) So I finish greasing them and put them back together and remove just the smaller cap where you drop in your raw egg. I admit that I am not graceful at cracking eggs but I don't feel that I am a complete failure at it either. I now have to crack eggs and drop them into a hole that is just a smidgen bigger than a quarter. The first egg drops right in. Great! I am better at this than I thought.

The next egg I lose a little egg white on the counter....

The third egg I lose a majority of egg white to the counter and my hands are covered in egg.

I now have little select-a-size paper towels wadded up on various spots on the counter.

I get the rest done. (I could have boiled two sets of eggs at this point.)

I place the eggs into the pot of water just as the instructions state and begin boiling ...

Soon there is a layer of egg white on top of the water and even as I attempt to turn it down we have imminent boil over about to occur. Yes I know that it boiling over may not be the Eggies fault but there is way more stress happening that would normally happen if I were boiling eggs.

When they finished boiling I become even more disappointed as I struggle to remove the eggs from their silly little pods, which I then realize that unlike egg shells I'm going to have to wash.

The outcome is six kind of sad looking eggs that took me somewhere near an hour to boil. (If it wasn't an hour it felt like one.) And 24 plastic pieces that need to be cleaned. Yes, the eggs tasted fine but were eaten with resentment and resentment never tastes good.