So for the last 14 months I have spent my nights cuddled up with my sweet sleeping little Nugget. Her precious face usually just inches from my own. My arm her pillow as we snuggle close.
I never intended for her to sleep in our bed. I was adamantly against it before she was born. Several weeks of very little sleep will adjust your priorities.
It was supposed to be temporary. We kept saying that we were going to get her into her own bed, but quite honestly it was convenient to have her in our bed and we enjoyed being so close to her.
We made some half assed attempts but our heart wasn't really in it.
So what changed now? You might ask. If you don't, then I'm not sure why you are still reading this.
What has changed is that she has gotten bigger and more independent. Sometimes she snuggles and is sweet. Other times you get kicked in the face while you are sleeping and she is rolling around like an alligator.
So since she isn't sleeping well and we aren't sleeping well, it is time for her to sleep on her own.
In many ways we regret that we didn't do this sooner when it would have been probably easier on all of us...but we didn't. So now as she has just discovered how to throw a tantrum we are trying.
For real this time.
It is 4 in the morning and I am in a chair in her room writing this. She is in her bed sleeping. She went down just fine at her bed time, then at 1am she woke up. I tried to comfort her and even rock her to sleep, but each time when I got her to her bed she woke up and screamed. If she were just crying I would probably have given in, but she was throwing a fit and we are trying hard right now to stop her screaming fits.
Finally I went all SuperNanny on her. I did just like I had seen on the show. I laid her down and told her "night night" then turned my back to her. She got up and screamed and only when she would try to climb out of bed would I get up and lay her back down without speaking to her. Very quickly she figured out that she was not going to get her way....and she laid down and went to sleep.
I feel terrible as I do this, but I know in my heart that I am doing the right thing. I am teaching her to be independent, giving her structure, and also giving her a better nights sleep. I will miss her sweet little face when I wake up in the morning, but it was time to let go.